College graduation came and went in a flurry of caps, gowns, hugs, and photographs. Once the pomp and circumstance died down, I was a bartender with a BA in Sociology...

College graduation came and went in a flurry of caps, gowns, hugs, and photographs. Once the pomp and circumstance died down, I was a bartender with a BA in Sociology. I was making good money but I was also feeling the nag of unrealized potential. It was then that I knew I had to venture out into the "real world" and get a "real job". I was born into a generation that was raised to understand that you go to college, you get a degree, and then you get a job--in that order, guaranteed. I was sure that I could take my "people skills" and my well-formatted resumé with my recent college graduation date shining at the top and get my career started.

Having worked in the service industry, I started to look for jobs with catering and event planning companies. I was pleased when the first few rounds of resumés I sent out immediately yielded a couple interviews. I was feeling good about the whole process, confident in my interview skills, and thinking that it would only be a short time before I landed myself a job. Over the next few days, those interviews gave way to polite phone calls informing me that they had "hired another candidate" but they wanted to thank me "for coming in" and wish me "the best of luck with everything". My full-time job had become scouring Craigslist in my pajamas, firing off resumés and tailored covered letters at every opportunity that seemed even remotely interesting. I broadened out my target industries and started applying for jobs in marketing and communications, not because I had relevant experience, but because it sounded fun. People kept telling me that I should apply anywhere and everywhere because a first job is essentially a "foot in the door". However, I refused to resort to that tactic, still feeling sure that I could find what I wanted. 

It was then that my big break came--I was invited back for a second interview at a marketing firm in the penthouse of an old bank building downtown. I was starry-eyed at the thought of working there with all the cool-looking young designers in thick-rimmed glasses and Converse tennis shoes, sitting behind giant Mac computer screens, listening to headphones and acting aloof. The second interview went well, the lady who interviewed me was equally as young and hip as the designers and I felt like her and I made a genuine connection. I walked out feeling like I had scored a win, treated myself to a nice lunch, and hopped on the bus home. The phone call came a few days later and, disappointingly, was a rejection just like all the rest. I had graduated college in May, it was now December and I was headed into the holidays with no job, no leads, and a waning confidence in myself and my abilities.

I decided to enlist the help of a recruiting firm and went to meet with a recruiter named Jenna, who was young and fun, and had a way about her that made me feel at ease. In our first meeting, we went over my resumé and had a conversation about goals, hopes, and dreams. In the end, Jenna didn't help me find a job but what she did do was help me find a direction. I was holding a liberal arts degree from a very left-leaning West Coast university and, without trying or even realizing it, had been turned out into the world with an inflated sense of social responsibility. "You," said Jenna, "belong in nonprofit". DING! You could literally see the light bulb illuminating over my head. It felt as if all the pieces had been shaken into to place and I was moving forward in my job hunt with a more solid foundation and a renewed sense of excitement and confidence.

I returned to the hourly scouring of Craigslist, and adjusted my resumé and template cover letter to reflect my passion for and experience in making a positive difference in the world. I sent my information out for any entry-level nonprofit job I came across. I sent out so many applications, I seriously considered just tacking my resumé up on telephone polls around downtown. All my hard work landed me a few more interviews, one of which was with a well-known and highly-respected environmental nonprofit. I was thrilled beyond comprehension when my first interview with their HR representative turned into a second interview that included presenting a project to a panel of staff. I worked hard on that presentation, thought out every inch of detail and when I presented it to the group, I stood up and delivered my ideas with resoluteness and enthusiasm. At the end, the Director of Development walked me out personally and told me how impressed he was and that he would call me soon. This was, by far, the highest moment in my entire process. At this point I was SURE I had finally succeeded.

I had two interviews that day so I walked down a few blocks to the second location, a youth development nonprofit serving low-income high school students. I don't know how well I actually did at that second interview as I had not done much research on the organization and my mind was still clouded with excitement from the first interview. It was all pretty basic and I was in and out quickly with no feelings either way. By now, we were a few days away from the Christmas holiday and I was anxious to hear from the environmental nonprofit before they closed for break. On December 23, I was sleeping in late when my phone rang. It was the Director of Development at the environmental nonprofit. I could tell almost instantaneously that he wasn't calling with good news. No, instead he was calling to tell me that they "really liked me" but "decided to go with someone with a little more experience". I hung up the phone and fell apart into a pile of heaves and sobs. All the frustration had finally exhausted me. This would be the final crushing blow for me and the point at which I would make the decision to discontinue my job search at least for the time being, focus on picking up as many shifts at the bar as possible, and rebuild my strategy and, more importantly, my confidence.

The holidays provided some safe and easy space for me to unwind and check out for a few weeks. After the new year, I received a very unexpected phone call from the youth development nonprofit. They apologized for the delay in communication and asked me to come in for one more interview. While I still wasn't necessarily excited by the prospect of working there, I figured I had nothing to lose. I took that interview a little more casually than is advisable but like I said, I wasn't that sold on this place. Despite my best efforts, I somehow managed to do something right because they called me back the next day to offer me a job as Office Manager. I was unsure of how to feel. I was still pretty emotionally drained from the previous process and I wasn't positive that this was the opportunity I was looking for. But I chose this moment to finally take the advice I'd been given so early on--get a foot in the door. I decided to accept the job, buckle up, and take the ride. 

I want to reflect for a moment on this word "confidence" as it was such a key element of my personal process and I believe, the job-seeking process in general. Confidence is precious in the sense that most of us tie it to our self-worth. When we try and fail, our sense of self-worth deflates as does our confidence. Looking for a job almost always entails vulnerability; you are vulnerable when you send your resumé off to a million nameless, faceless, generic e-mail addresses, you are vulnerable when you go on interviews and subject yourself to the scrutiny of strangers, and you are most certainly vulnerable when you ask people to give you a job and you have no idea whether they will or not. Vulnerability mixed with doubt in your own worth is a scary place to be. If I could share one piece of advice it would be that through it all it is always important to keep in mind that you are a capable human being and an opportunity WILL come along if you persist and find lessons in every failure.

Today it has been 2 years since I took that job. I am still with the youth development organization and it has opened doors for me that I never thought possible. I have learned an incredible amount about the nonprofit industry, about the world, and about myself. I have moved up quickly and gained the respect of my co-workers and our board of directors. I am in a good place and feel very fortunate, especially when so many around me are without a job. However, I try to never forget my time spent on the job hunt and whenever I need a dose of humility, I reflect on some of those more difficult moments. Finding a job is a way of finding yourself and there is no easy way around that.